Creating Family Harmony: Tips, Tricks, and Insights for a Harmonious Relationship with In-laws

Maintaining harmony in the family is an art. Because every family comes with a grey underlining. It takes a real artist to unsee the ugly shades, and dark truths and live life like the storm never hit you. 

In my years of medical consultation, I had the opportunity to meet thousands of people who opened up to me often revealing more than their physical pain. And most of the time, the root cause of their dejection is ‘family ties’. 

‘Doctor, how do I get along with my daughter-in-law? How to tolerate my mother-in-law? I can’t live with his parents. When will my husband come to his senses? My wife is a worthless woman. My sisters-in-law are inhospitable.’

These and many such questions echo in every household. Our Indian culture is founded on the grounds of relationships. Yet, it’s the complex dynamics of these relationships that spoils the harmony in a family.

But is it really that tough?

Well, it’s impossible to please everyone. It’s worthless to have expectations. But it’s not tough to find that balance where you can live amicably in peace. 

Also read: How to keep your husband happy?

Secrets to a Harmonious In-Law Relationship

Well, there is no single recipe to make your in-laws happy. It differs for every family. But the basic ingredients remain the same.

Maintaining a relationship with in-laws can seem mind-boggling. 

Not because it really is. But because of the images that are imprinted in our heads.

An overbearing mother-in-law demeaning her. An ideal wife who forgets her own life. A crooked sister-in-law. The brash brother-in-law. The head-over-heels husband. This is the notion of “family”. It’s framed for thousands of years and constantly refurbished by the delusive TV soaps.

This is far from reality.

Your in-laws are just like you, humane and kind!

This blog is not about bringing a transformation in your wife, husband, mother-in-law, father-in-law, or anyone else. It is about coping with them. In this blog, I would suggest formulas and techniques help all –life in peace.

Also read: How to make your wife happy?

Essential Tips for a Strong Daughter-in-Law

Marriages are tough. 

It’s not something you get into wearing a fancy dress and then life turns pink and blue. 

No. Marriage is a constant work.

And keeping a few simple tricks in mind can make work easy.

• During any argument, never broach the topic of parents. 
• Never drag your children into a fight. 
• Show concern to his parents. Respect them and serve them well. 
• Don’t grumble about your mother-in-law with your friends.
• Don’t mock your husband if he is a doting son. It’s not a bad thing. Have patience and handle it with patience. 
• If your husband fails to buy you costly gifts, then don’t push it. 

Never try to correct your in-law’s flaws. Every person is flawed but at their age, they might not be able to change. It is not possible to mend their erratic behavior. So, the best thing to do here is to turn a blind eye.

Mistakes lie to both parties when it comes to arguments. You can’t clap with only one hand, isn’t it? 60% of the blame could be others’ whereas 40% would be yours too! So instead of resenting why on earth you got such relatives, try to correct your own mistakes.

• Make minor adjustments with your mother-in-law to maintain happiness and peace in the family. 
• Try to build a repo with your sister-in-law. Appreciate her but don’t expect much in return.
• If you feel envious of your sister-in-law erase those thoughts from the board of your mind.
• Appreciate and show gratitude to your in-laws when they show you a gesture.
• All relations take their own time, to mature and for mutual love to bloom. Give your relationship that time to crystallize. 

Also read: The new trend of women as breadwinners in India

Key Strategies for a Positive Mother-in-Law Relationship

There are galore books filled with lessons for the daughter-in-law. But none ever speaks about the mother-in-law.

The wife occupies an exclusive place in the mind of her husband. But his mother enjoys yet another place altogether. So, mothers-in-law must not keep grumbling against their daughters-in-law unnecessarily. 

• Mothers-in-law must understand that their daughter-in-law is not stealing their son. 
• Don’t try to pass on the pain and bitterness that you endured as a daughter-in-law. Rather learn your lessons and don’t repeat the same mistakes. 
• Stay away from the marital life of your son as far as possible. Don’t poke your nose into everything that occurs in your life. They will fight, they will argue and they will make mistakes. But they will also make amends.
• Never react violently to small skirmishes, try to solve everything peacefully.
• Don’t be too harsh. Don’t be too honest. Often dodge the bullets with a smile. If your daughter-in-law buys a new sari of a color that won’t suit her, don’t dampen her spirits by saying so. Say that on some other day.
• If your daughter-in-law won’t listen to you then don’t overreact. Treat her as one among you and it will be much easier for you to accept her flaws.

Remember, for every problem, there is a solution, and also that problems do not last forever.

Also read: How to keep your aging parents engaged, active, happy, and healthy?

Secrets to a Happy Family: A Son’s Guide

Everyone sees the struggles of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. But even the husband hands by a thin thread.

So, here are some tips for the husband as well:

• Even if you dislike the father of your wife, treat him with respect. 
• Try to help them bond. Don’t turn one against the other. Don’t complain about your wife in front of your mother and vice versa.
• Never arrive at a conclusion immediately after listening to either your wife or your mother. Listen also to what the other party says.
• Don’t get saddled with greater problems trying to solve the minor ones. 
• Make an effort to make your house a happy space. Get involved, chip in, and be there for them.

All said and done, it is important on your part to resolve to be happy with your relations. Try to be happy without bothering about the small issues in your family.  

Also read: Break free from unrealistic beauty standards