Managing Anger: Tips and Techniques for Controlling Your Emotions and Improving Emotional Wellness

Anger is the killer of love, destroyer of peace, and enemy of relationships! A wise man once said, never let anger conquer your mind. Because you will be demeaned by the demon of your mind. So, when your head hammers and your heart pulsate in anger, breathe before you spit venom.  

A few days back, I got a patient accompanied by a man with this familiar face. 

He asked me with a big smile and exuberating energy, “Doctor do you recognize me?” 

I could recall the face. The dark brown hair thinning off the scalp of a middle-aged man with a lean fit structure and calm face. I met this man in my clinic, but I could not exactly retrieve the details of our meeting.

It was quite irksome. Because Ayurvedic doctors have a good memory. At least they should!

The silence on my lips and the frown on my face gave away the answer. That was my thinking too-hard face!

An old patient with Anger issues 

He was gentle enough to help me remember our little encounter! 

“Sir, six months back my wife brought me to your clinic. She is your regular patient”. 

He mentioned her name and every bit of the puzzle fell into place. There were more fine lines on his face then. His belly was bulging and wrinkles were prominent! 

He was brought to me by his wife. How can I forget this man? 

When we met, he was angry at everything. And never missed a chance to vent it out!

Anger – an emotion of aggression

He would beat the children in the smallest altercation. Insulted his wife, and even slapped her on a few events behind closed doors. Words created more noise in their house than the clanging of empty vessels. The home was a battlefield. Love died a butchered death!

I remember getting goosebumps listening to the horror that the lady was living through. A teardrop drenched her eyes as she unwrapped the monstrous version of the human sitting across the table.

The violence of any sort is unforgivable. Be it emotional or physical!

But as a doctor, we often have to mask our emotions, silence our conscience and let the healer take charge. I listened to their story and threw away my judgments outside the window. 

Hollowness within

After the lady stopped the man spoke, “Sir, I run a workshop and make good money. But there is no peace of mind. Off late my smoking spiked to 30 cigarettes a day. I was not like this man. I have started to loathe myself.”

He continued, “Sir, I am at constant war with the words of my mind. It says I am a worthless husband and monster father. I don’t want to be like this. But it seems my mind is ruling me rather than me controlling the mind!”

The big man burst into tears.

Anger burns your relation to ashes

Simple things that you can easily give a passing turn into boiling issues when you let your mind get consumed with thoughts of anger. 

Ego. Self-indulgence. Selfishness. High esteem. Pride. Doubt. 

These words should have no place in relationships!

Resentment. Responsibilities. Burden. Burn out. 

These words should not be your dictating emotions!

When you let these negative emotions take over, love slips into the backseat. And if the ride gets too bumpy then it can even slide outside!

Your reactions make you lose respect. And without respect, there can be no love.

So, sometimes let your emotions take a backseat. At least 30 minutes before you react. Take your time. Go to your place of peace. Heal within. And then be the support your family can lean on!

It takes two to keep the relationship strong. And make sure you are not the loose wheel!

Anger management with Ayurveda

I counseled him on his anger issues. Treated his emotional turbulence with medicines. And taught him yoga pose to have control over the mind! After that, I haven’t seen or heard from him for the next six months.

And here he was! A completely new version. 

He continued to speak in a calming tone, ‘Sir the Ayurvedic tablets you prescribed worked magic for me. You taught me Shashankasana that I practiced 15 minutes twice daily.’

I remember counseling him, “His children would be with him for a maximum of 10 years. He brought them to the world with a promise of love and protection. I asked him to remember the beautiful memories with his kids. And showed him a glimpse of the blessed life he was living.

I asked him not to beat his children or abuse his wife. They are the real treasures he had. Everything else can be built, broken, and rebuilt. Except for relationships! I showed him how his wife works from dawn to dusk to bring the bread to the table. I talked about the importance of family. They are not a burden or a responsibility. They are your happy space”.

Ayurvedic Tips for anger management:

• Ayurvedic Medicines to calm his mind
• Shashankasana.
• Self-reflection on the mirror.

His medicines were natural herbal formulations to combat stress, anxiety, and the overburden of emotions.

Shashankasana is a simple yoga posture. It improves blood supply to the head. Nourishes the eyes and boosts brain functions. It is effective in relieving fatigue and lightening a bad mood. Shashankasana has a calming effect that helps in combating anxiety and depression.

Shashakasana tones the pelvic muscles and relieves sciatic pain. This posture also helps in correcting sexual disorders naturally.

I also advised him to face himself in the mirror whenever he gets angry. This is a proven way of getting control over one’s anger.

Healing from within – Anger management

With these simple effective tips, he could conquer the monster of his mind.

He followed these tips religiously and continued his tablets. After therapy, he stopped smoking. That he is now a completely different person. 

He thanked me for this changed life. But it was he who walked the path. I just showed him that there was one!

That day he came to my clinic with a new patient whom he introduced as an angry bird. I donned the white coat once again to see one more life change. 

Natural tips for Anger management

• Wait for 30 minutes before reacting.
• Take a deep breath and swallow your ego. There is no place for that in a relationship.
• Practice yoga and meditation. It makes your mind calm.
• Use essential oils to calm you down.
• Keep your place free of clutter. That makes one thing less messy.
• Even the flowing water sound in the house works great.
• Love your family and prioritize them above all!
• Don’t let your insecurities drive you. 
• Open up to someone and take advice when needed.

Ayurvedic doctor’s opinion

The issue of anger management is a critical aspect of mental and emotional health. The blog on anger management provides valuable insights and evidence-based strategies to control anger and lead a more fulfilling life. The strategies mentioned in the blog, such as deep breathing, physical exercise, practicing mindfulness, healthy communication, and self-awareness, are all backed by scientific studies, which demonstrate their effectiveness in reducing anger and improving overall mental health.

Studies have shown that deep breathing and physical exercise can help regulate the body’s response to stress and reduce feelings of anger and frustration. One study published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research found that deep breathing reduced anger and anxiety in individuals with high levels of both. 

Another study published in the Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology found that physical exercise reduced feelings of anger in college students.

Mindfulness practices such as meditation and yoga have also been found to be effective in reducing anger and improving overall well-being. One study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology found that a mindfulness-based stress reduction program reduced anger and anxiety in individuals with anxiety disorders.

 Another study published in the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine found that yoga reduced anger and stress in individuals with chronic pain.

Healthy communication is also crucial in managing anger. Studies have shown that communication skills training can improve communication and reduce conflict in relationships. 

One study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family Therapy found that communication skills training improved communication and reduced conflict in couples.

Self-awareness is also an essential component of anger management. Being aware of triggers that lead to anger can help individuals recognize the signs of anger and take proactive steps to manage it. 

One study published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research found that cognitive-behavioral therapy, which focuses on changing negative thought patterns, improves anger management in individuals with high levels of anger.

In conclusion, the blog on anger management provides valuable insights and evidence-based strategies to control anger and lead a more fulfilling life. Incorporating these strategies into daily life can lead to improved mental and emotional health, better relationships, and overall well-being. It is essential to seek professional help if anger management issues persist despite self-help strategies.