A child is like that tender flower that blossoms on its own when nourished with care and love, but when the flower is pushed too hard to blossom early or blossom in a particular way it simply perishes.
This is the case study that highlights the unrealized impact of a mother’s behavior on her child’s brewing personality and the magical healing powers of our subconscious mind. While Ayurveda soothes the sores with its miraculous medicines, faith in the subconscious mind feeds the soul aiding the healing.
This clinical study examines the case of a 14-year-old girl named Sahana who came to my clinic with her mother. The shy timid girl slowly settled down in the corner seat as her mother stared at her with a stern disgruntlement.
With a stark reproach, her mother shared the history of her daughter’s illness. Sahana who is in her teens was still wetting her bed every night. While cleaning her bed every morning was a task, it was the shame of her grown-up girl acting like a baby that bothered the mother constantly.
Citing her teenage girl as shameless she continued to whine about her attitude of not going to her relative’s house or not mingling with her friends. Her mother was also quite displeased with her degrading ranks in the class.
Linking it to her genes, Sahana’s mother bluntly put the blame on her dad’s family. She dragged Sahana’s aunt out of the blue stating that she too peed in her bed until the day she got married and that it was because of the genes of this embarrassing family that her daughter got this issue.
Blabbering about her own circle of issues her mother broke into tears leaving the little girl humiliated, anxious, and awkward.
I understood the situation and got quite a zest of things underlying her condition. But she was in no condition to speak so I asked her to visit the next day alone for counselling.
The next day, the little girl arrived just on time. She started to open up slowly stating her parents were very strict since her childhood. Her mother is a complete control freak and everything in their house happens according to her mother’s whims and fancy.
Her mother abused and lashed at her child since grade one for scores in the tests. She resented her in-law’s family and their relatives and even restricted this little girl from talking to her dad’s relatives. Too much to ask from an innocent child who knows nothing about these family politics!
Since childhood, Sahana has nurtured a fear in her mind. She was an extremely brilliant girl excelling in her studies, but the constant pressure and the nagging family issues instilled a fear in her mind which reflected in her studies.
By the time she started to explore her personality, she felt trapped in her mother’s shadow. The constant interference, humiliation, negativity, and family drama simply stole her opportunity to grow her own identity.
She mentioned how her mother always started a conversation with the guests by citing a thousand issues about her daughter; shattering her confidence and making her realize how worthless she is!
She discussed her peeing problem even with strangers pushing her every time into a small closet that doesn’t fit in society. After listening to all her qualms I summarized her problems as
- Bedwetting
- Subconscious fear
- Inferiority complex
- Low self-esteem
I prescribed a few ayurvedic medicines, I asked her to practice the following affirmations:
“I am fearless, I am healthy. Every day in every way I am getting better and better”.
Affirmations are like a subtle signal that we send out to the universe and to the brain which slowly manifests into reality. It is an old charm widely practiced by the Indian sages in the state of deep meditation also called Yoga Nidra.
Further, I instructed her 20 minutes of jogging every day to keep her energy fresh and counseled her to not hate her mother but to accept everyone with their flaws and faults.
For her bedwetting problem, I also shared some general advice like to
- Pass urine before going to bed,
- Avoid beverages two hours before bedtime
- Drink 7-8 cups of water throughout the day
Apart from the child, in this particular case, counseling for her mother was also needed. So, I spoke to her mother and tried to convince her in every way possible to avoid speaking about her child’s problems to anyone and that blaming others for petty issues helps in no way.
I further urged the lady to indulge in a proactive role and encourage her daughter in every little thing so that she could nurture the good while working on her flaws.
Advice for the other included simple things like:
- Keeping the light on so that the child can easily reach the toilet
- Reduce the discomfiture
- And make home a comfortable place where she can just be her own self
After 2 months the young girl visited again gleefully smiling as her peeing completely stopped and her mother was making every effort to give the little girl everything she needed!
(Note: The names of the individuals in this article have been changed to Sahana to ensure their privacy.)
