Postpartum depression is as real as the stretch marks of pregnancy. Just that everyone can see the scars on your body, but not the scars on your mind. The fear, the anxiety, and the depression can grab you by the throat, at a time when everyone around expects you to be overjoyed. That’s why post-partum care is so crucial!
A few days ago, I was scrolling through my social media and saw this amazing snap of street photography. I checked the name. It was Gabrielle, a beautiful French woman in her forties, my old patient. She is a fashion designer, flaunting a credible portfolio.
I tapped twice and scrolled through my feeds.
The next morning, I received a video call.
‘Hi, doc! This is Gabrielle. I am calling you from Paris’, she said cheerfully.
‘Gabrielle!! How are you?’, I asked.
‘The situation is better here now’.
‘How are your children?’
‘Well, one is in Amsterdam University and another is in high school. The third one is still in diapers,’ she said with a pleasant smile in her voice.
Gabrielle has got three children from three husbands. And after a long time, her voice was chirpy and she was finally finding happiness. We talked a bit about this and that. She told me that her mother is taking the ayurvedic medicine Vasanta Kusumakara Ras regularly though she can’t still pronounce it correctly.
Gabrielle was a woman of many talents, with a passion for fashion design and a keen eye for art and photography. Her work for a top international firm was just the beginning of her creative journey, as she traveled the world and held exhibitions, auctions, and charitable events in many different countries. Her designs were even patented, a testament to her unique vision and skill.
Despite her busy lifestyle, which involved frequent trips across the globe, Gabrielle always made time for Bangalore. For nearly 12 years she called it home, and on most weekends she could be found in the neighborhood of RT Nagar, just a stone’s throw from my clinic. Her energy and enthusiasm were infectious, and she inspired many with her talent and passion for life.
Everything was hunky-dory on a professional front.
But on the personal front, she was drowning in depression.
Gabrielle’s first husband was a French man. They got divorced one year after her first baby was born. A few years later, she found love again. But her second husband, a German man, left her one year after her second baby was born.
5 years ago, she met her third husband. He is a Brit and given the past history, she was very anxious about having her third baby. Ten days after her delivery, Gabrielle called me.
She wanted a natural galactagogue for feeding the baby. I suggested she take Shatavari Kalpa. Her husband picked it up from the Ayurvedism store. She asked me if I can visit her in my leisure time.
When I met her, she told me that she was having severe anxiety. The fear of losing her third husband was overwhelming her. Both times, her husbands’ left her after childbirth.
Pregnancy and birthing are both taxing on the mind and the body. She lost interest in sex even after months of delivery. She was depressed and that was left unattended. This resulted in withdrawal and frigidity. She avoided sex and would find excuses to stay away from her husband. She then told me that she wasn’t ready for pregnancy. All of her three children were accidental and she wasn’t happy with her husbands.
After listening to her, I understood it was postpartum post-traumatic stress disorder.
Digging further down memory lane, she told me that she was subjected to abuse by one of her mother’s colleagues at the age of 15 in France. Since then, she has been suspicious of men. The scars of her past made her commit to the wrong guys who left her with the huge responsibility of raising the children alone.
I was saddened to hear her story, but this is the ugly truth. Most young girls suffer from childhood abuse silently and this scars them for the rest of their life. I consoled her and asked her what she was thinking.
She told me that she wanted to save this marriage.
I explained to her about post-natal care in India. Upon noticing the new mother’s need for rest and recuperation, I decided to take action. I immediately reached out to an agency and arranged for a highly skilled masseuse to attend to both the mother and child. With kindness and patience, the masseuse provided exceptional care for three whole months, ensuring that the mother received the rest and relaxation she desperately needed. Ayurvedic massage proved to be essential during the postnatal period, as it helped the mother recover from the childbirth process, reduced stress levels, promoted lactation, and improved overall health and well-being.
I recommended that she follow a warm and nourishing diet during her postnatal period, one that would help replenish her strength and vitality. To achieve this, I suggested that she incorporate certain foods that are easy to digest and provide essential nutrients. For instance, consuming two teaspoons of desi ghee and virgin coconut oil would be beneficial, as well as eating cooked vegetables, lentils, and rice. However, she should avoid consuming spicy, sour, or cold foods as they may hinder her body’s recovery process.
To promote lactation and boost her immunity, it’s essential to include milk and herbal concoctions in her diet. Shatavari Kalpa, in particular, was recommended for her low milk production. This herb is known for its hormone-balancing properties and is rich in phytoestrogens, which can stimulate milk production. Overall, maintaining a balanced and nutritious diet during the postnatal period is crucial for a mother’s well-being and for the healthy growth of her baby.
I counseled Gabrielle, prescribed Ayurvedic medicines, and arranged for a yoga teacher to assist her with yoga lessons. Slowly, she began to heal. Her anxiety was easing and she was able to think rationally.
Within 45 days, she experienced a complete recovery. Through the power of massage and attentive care, her physical weakness vanished, while emotional support helped her manage her mental health. Although these practices could not undo the past, they helped her become more accepting and forgiving.
Two years later, she returned to inform me that she was leaving India, moving back to France for good.
That was 5 years ago!
‘How is your husband?’, I asked.
Her husband leaned in and said hi to me over the video call.
Gabrielle held her little child up and it looked like a portrait of the perfect family!
Final takeaway
Have you ever found yourself wondering why some women spiral into a state of melancholy after childbirth? Well, let me illuminate this topic for you. Postpartum depression is a multifaceted condition whose precise causes remain elusive. While the triggers of this disorder can vary from individual to individual, several factors are known to potentially contribute to its onset.
The experience of postpartum depression can be a dark and overwhelming journey for many new mothers. It’s not uncommon for the emotional rollercoaster of hormonal changes, physical exhaustion, and the daunting responsibility of caring for a newborn to take its toll on a woman’s mental well-being. The weight of these challenges can lead to feelings of sadness, anxiety, and hopelessness, leaving many mothers feeling lost and alone in their struggle. But with understanding and support, these women can find their way back into the light and embrace the joys of motherhood with open arms.
In the vast and diverse nation of India, the postpartum period is revered and given the utmost attention. After the delivery of her little one, a new mother is lovingly cocooned within the walls of her home for around forty days. This is a time of rest and recuperation, where she can focus on the important task of nursing and nurturing her precious bundle of joy. Surrounding her with unwavering support are the caring arms of her closest female kin, who ensure that she is pampered with the finest nourishing foods, relaxing massages, and rejuvenating activities. This sacred period of coddling is paramount in allowing the new mother to heal, not only physically but also mentally. As she is tenderly cared for, she can let go of any anxiety and immerse herself in the pure and unbridled joy of motherhood.
( Note: To protect the privacy of the person, the name in the article has been changed to Gabrielle)
