Resentment in Relationships:How to Overcome and Fix it for Good

A  relationship is a beauty when handled delicately. It can hurt, it can ache, it can break the heart into a million flakes. Relationships are tricky. It is risky. Yet, it is something we cannot flee. So, in this blog, I bring you tips to resolve resentment in a relationship.

A strong relationship is a great boon. But it’s not a ship that sails smoothly.

Every relationship at some phase or the other hits the rock.

Surprisingly, the most common reason of conflict among couples is not sex or money; it’s Resentment!

It is the beginning of a crack that finally ends up in divorce.

Read on to understand the depths of resentment and discover the ways to fix Resentment in a relationship. Explained by a professional Ayurvedic doctor with experience in counseling hundreds of such cases!

Also Read: Weekend Couple! The New Urban Relationship Status

So, here are some amazing tips to resolve Resentment in a relationship –

Tips to resolve Resentment in a relationship

1. Understand your resentments

Resentment is that monstrous voice in the head that harbors your feelings of anger and disappointment. This bitter taste in a relationship develops with the repetition of dark painful feelings that went unaddressed. 

Resentment is very common, especially in marriages. The unmentioned adjustments, unspoken heartbreaks, broken expectations and offensive arguments intensify resentment.

The good thing is that resentment can be fixed!

It takes both partners to work towards growing the relationship. The key is to unearth the issues, address the problems, rectify the actions, and change the reactions.

2. Identify the dots of Resentment

Resentment is a wound that people don’t speak about. So, one might need a close eye to identify the patterns that spell resentment.

1. A wave of intense unspilled anger.
2. An inattentive partner
3. Increased fights.
4. Lack of affection and empathy.
5. Passive-aggressive behavior.

3. Spot the Underlying causes of Resentment

Resentment is not caused in a single instance. It is not caused by a single act! Resentment is caused by repetitive actions that trigger frustration and anger. Some probable underlying causes of resentment.

• Selfishness – If one of the partners in the relationship gets selfish, then the other one is bound to be resentful.
• Unfulfilled expectations – People tend to have high expectations in a relationship and when the hill of expectations comes down, they go into a shell of resentment.
• Ignorance and Neglect – The ear opens the way to the heart. Not listening to your partner and ignoring their aspirations result in deep-cut resentment.
• Inability to forgive – Holding a grudge on a past event is one of the main triggers of resentment.
• Taking for granted – This one is the killer of a romantic spark in a relationship.

4. Acknowledging the feelings

Of course, the first step to fixing resentment starts with finding it! Many couples don’t acknowledge the issues underneath. It’s like putting a nail in the coffin. 

The feelings are legit so speaking up about them is necessary. Don’t let the problems stew in silence and eat you up from inside. 

To fix the problems, you must first identify them. Invest your mind and energy to acknowledge the pain points. Understand your aspirations and desires, expectations and wishes.

5. Empathy is the key

A little empathy can change the entire picture. Understanding the underlying reasons for a person’s character would help you empathize with their situation.

Most often a person’s reaction to the situation is guided by the experiences or encounters they had in life.

A man once dumped in love, might have fear and hence act possessive. Women who get cheated in love might act suspiciously. These actions are not because of the current dynamics of the relationship but because of their past experiences.

Understanding this, empathizing with their pain, and communicating their feelings will help bridge that hole in the heart.

Also Read – Role-Reversal – the new trend in India

6. Forgive and forget

More often than not, a simple argument turns into an abusive fight where both partners dig up previous details.

This happens for not being able to make peace with some event of the past. For carrying the grudge, for not forgiving, for not forgetting.

Forgiveness is the key to making a new start.

Having a healthy conversation. Letting the heart pour out. And sometimes crying it out helps you to get things off your chest.

Here one partner must take up the courage to speak and the other one must dedicate an empathetic ear.

7. Communicate before it gets late

Communication is very crucial in any relationship. But when it comes to an intimate one, you must create that space where each partner can communicate openly and fearlessly without any inhibitions.

There should be a healthy space where one can open up, share jokes, and speak even the unspoken things without hesitation. 

Make sure you have that haven in your heaven!

8. Apologize before things get high

In a strong, healthy, and happy relationship, words like ego and pride don’t have a place.

Just accepting that you are a human and you are bound to make an error, makes it much easier to see your faults, apologize for them, and correct them.

Everything can be back to normal with just a simple ‘sorry’.

Sometimes, it’s not about who is right or who is wrong. It’s about peace or ego. Choose your peace over your ego and see your relationship bloom!

9. There is no chemistry without honesty 

A relation that honors communication offers the liberty of honesty. Partners do not need to be correct always, but you both need to be honest. 

Building an empire based on a lie often succumbs to the hard-hitting blow of truth.

So, make sure to have the guts to speak the truth even if it’s unpleasant!

Because the truth always triumphs. 

And when you are in a relationship of a lifetime, the veil on the lie is sure to drift.

10. Use the magic words

Sorry, thank you, please, and wow are the four magic words!

Apologizing and appreciating your partner can make a world of difference. 

These simple words can say a thousand things. It shows that you care. That you respect and value each other. That you still find each other charming. 

So, next time try these magic words.

11. Enjoy the effects of sex

As the saying goes make it up with a kiss and compensate with great sex!

Sex is not just a need or greed it is that beautiful bond of intimacy that can make you forget a thousand mistakes.

So, why not leverage this awesome weapon?

Next time your relationship hits a bumpy road, just take off the clothes and knock on the bed!

Also Read: How to rekindle your romance

Conclusion

Resentment is very common in married life; it is the crucial killer of love!

Couples that complain, that love fades after marriage suffer from the syndrome of resentment. 

Hence, fixing the cracks and mending the resentments is the secret to that ever-growing love in a relationship!