The Importance of Self-Compassion for Self-Care

Love Yourself before you love anyone else – This is perhaps the most valuable life lesson that often goes unuttereḍ. Self-love is not selfishness, it is rather, respecting your own God-created soul. Though today people have started talking about self-love and self-care, the majority of the world stands in the dark, not knowing what it is. So, in this blog, I bring to light some intriguing insights into the fact that self-care is self-compassion. Read on to know more.

Have you ever stood in front of the mirror and had a conversation with yourself? Research says that positive self-talk can improve your mood and elevate your performance while treating yourself harshly brings bad results. My point is simple – the way you see yourself in that mirror impacts every aspect of your life. 

If you are your own critic, if you keep focusing on your flaws at all times, then you are feeding your own stress and insecurities. This can not only impact your mood and make you sad but can also lead to depression. And let me tell you depression is not just feeling sad for some time, it is a mental condition that can lead to chronic physical pain, impaired immunity, and heighten the risks of fatal diseases!

And to avoid it all self-compassion is crucial. 

Self-compassion research reveals that people who practice self-compassion are less likely to suffer from mental health conditions. They are more resilient to diseases and are kinder to the world outside.

Before I go on talking about these scientific revelations, let us first understand the definition of self-compassion.

Also Read: How to stop hating someone?

What is self-compassion?

Having self-compassion means you are forgiving, accepting, and loving towards yourself despite all the flaws and shortcomings. In a world, that can be so harsh and judgy, sometimes it can be really difficult to look beyond your skin and love yourself.

Self-compassion is prioritizing your mental and physical health above all. Sometimes it can be the graceful acceptance of your failures and moving on towards success with a smile. Other times, it can be accepting your body as it is and not beating yourself just to lose weight or look fair.

By definition, self-compassion means treating yourself with compassion, positivity, and kindness. It is an empirically measurable construct and it is measured with three separable constructs – Self-kindness, Humanity, and Mindfulness.

The three pillars of self-compassion

Self-Kindness

Self-kindness is showering yourself with a dose of positivity when things aren’t exactly going your way. Be kind to yourself when you have messed up things at the office or at your home. You need it the most when your relationships get complicated or you missed out on a big opportunity.

It can be something as simple as treating yourself to your favorite ice cream at the end of a difficult day. Or it may be taking a walk on the grass barefoot, feeling grateful for the little things. Self-kindness is just treating yourself with warmth and patience.

Self-kindness lies in simple acts. Here are some practices of self-kindness:

• Treat yourself with tenderness when you’re going through a tough time.
• Accept that you aren’t perfect but so is no one else.
• Try to understand your strengths and weaknesses.
• Be patient with yourself.

Common Humanity

Common Humanity basically means seeing yourself as just another human being and not a super being. We tend to see our individual experiences and flaws in an isolated space making them bigger than they really are.

Embracing common humanity helps you realize that you are not alone in being imperfect or feeling hurt. We are all imperfect beings. Accepting your flaws and forgiving yourself for your mistakes helps you in embracing self-kindness. 

Please note that forgiving yourself for your mistakes does not mean ignoring your mistakes and moving on. It means acknowledging them, accepting them, feeling guilty about them, and then letting the guilt go by embracing forgiveness.

Here are some common practices of common humanity:

• See your shortcomings as a natural human trait.
• View your difficulties as a part and parcel of life.
• Remind yourself that you are not alone.
• Lastly, know that it’s ok not to be ok sometimes!

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a huge part of self-compassion. It is the opposite of ignorance or over-identification. It entails acknowledging the free flow of your thoughts without labeling, reacting, or judging them. 

Your mind is like the soil in a garden where beautiful flowers and weeds grow along. When the weeds grow you don’t blame the soil, you rather take them out carefully without punishing the soil from growing the weeds. Likewise, when a negative thought crosses your mind, don’t jump to judge yourself, let it pass, and remove it carefully just like a weed.

Practicing mindfulness will help you be kinder and more compassionate towards yourself. It takes away the blame and makes you feel good about yourself. The benefits of mindfulness are myriad and it is s scientifically proven therapy!

Self-Care is Self-Compassion: Research Studies

Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in self-compassion explains that many people have this belief that being kind to themselves will make them lazy and unmotivated. However, research says the truth is exactly the opposite.

According to natural science, when you are hard on yourself, you are attacking your body mentally.  Several research studies show that self-criticism is destructive to your health. Besides increasing your stress levels and unhappiness quotient, it increases procrastination and lowers your productivity.

Scientific studies suggest that showing self-compassion can increase your emotional resilience, and improve your overall well-being. Studies further revealed that people with high self-compassion are at a lower risk of a range of ailments. Including back pain, headache, nausea, and respiratory problems. 

One possible explanation of this intriguing association could be the muted stress response. Self-compassion may reduce the inflammation that comes with mental anguish which is very detrimental to your health. Another possible explanation is that people with higher self-compassion tend to take better care of their health!

5 Simple Ways of Practicing Self-Compassion

• Take care of your mental and physical health and make yourself a priority.
• Talk to yourself every day for at least 5 minutes and let the mirror tell you that you are beautiful.
• Walk and exercise daily as it releases oxytocin, your happy hormones.
• Practice mindfulness and meditation every day for at least 20 minutes.
• Eat healthily and write a gratitude journal for all the good things in your life.
• Learn to say no to others when your own mind and body are demanding your attention.
• When you make a to-do list make an accomplished list as well. This will remind you of all the small wins that you have achieved.

Your Takeaway!

In conclusion, self-care is nothing but treating yourself with self-compassion. Being kind to yourself and being mindful of your thoughts and then accepting your flaws and failures as humane experiences are the three pillars of self-care!

Lastly, how to check if you show self-compassion?

Self-compassionate people recognize that they are imperfect and they cherish their imperfections rather than bottling them as feelings of insecurity. When people disappoint them or they disappoint themselves they accept their feelings and move on without harboring anger, pain, or guilt.

So, if you exhibit this behavior then you have self-compassion!