Some pray for health and some seek love. Others wish for the well-being of loved ones and some plead for success. But there is one thing that’s common in every prayer. It is the wish for a good life!
We all pray for a good life, but what actually makes life good? Is it money or Sex? Is it a success or fame? A million-dollar house or a fleet of cars? Or something else? We spend our lives in a blind chase running after the illusions of health and happiness in material things.
Money brings comfort, sex pleasure, success pride and fame recognition. But what brings the true bliss of happiness? What makes a life well-lived?
We often try to see tiny bits of happiness in scattered spheres of our life. We search for happiness in our career, family, relationships, hobbies, love and passion. But happiness is a holistic concept!
Most people are leading their life in autopilot mode. Work, eat, sleep, mobile, family and repeat. The days are cranky and nights wasted!
A recent survey revealed that 80 % of millennials want to get rich and 50% crave to be famous. But the fact is that none of these can bring happiness.
Is this the true meaning of happiness? If not, then what is?
A Harvard study elucidates the right way to live a good life is by nourishing good relations.
‘Strong bonds make us happier and healthier’, the study concluded.
This is the flip side of the fact that loneliness kills! True bonds heal…
The spotlight on good life!
This study came to light when Robert Waldinger, a clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School gave a stirring speech at the Ted Talks. He recorded his Ted Talk titled, “What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness,” in 2015.
And there he spoke about a 75 years-long-study conducted by the Harvard medical school that started in 1938. His illustrious Ted Talk has received over 13,000,000 views.
And in that ted Talks, Robert Waldinger revealed that its good relations that account for happiness!
The funda is simple, ‘The more secured and satisfied we are in our relationships the happier we will be’!
Robert Waldinger, also quoted that happiness is not about having a lot of friends or multiple relationships. It’s not the quantity but the depth that counts! Developing a close bond of trust and affection protects the brain and body.
In his Ted Talks, he also highlighted the importance of taking self-care. And embracing and attending to relations is also a form of self-care. But many people either take their relationships for granted. They push it to the last row of their priority list. That’s where most relationships take their last breath – in the last row of our priority list!
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Research on good life
A Harvard study tracked the lives of 724 men over a period of 75 years to study the associations of happiness.
For the study, The 724 men were divided into two groups. The first group had 268 men who attended Harvard University. And the second group had 456 boys from the poorest families of Boston.
Over the years, researchers noted the participants’ health trajectories. They scanned their broader lives, including triumphs and failures in careers and marriage. The researchers also observed their children’s study, the impact of early life in success and happiness.
The research closely studied their work lives and home lives. It tracked their personal relationships, conversations, health and medical records. Each participant was medically examined and interviewed. Even their close family members were also interviewed. This was repeated every two years.
Also Read: 20 ways to be in a good mood
Results on the research!
And at the end of the research, the study concluded that its neither money nor fame, neither richness nor success! It is good relationships that make us happier and healthier.
Close knitted relationships protect us from life’s discontents. We have a shoulder to lean on, an ear to vent out, a hand of hope and a smile that’s contagious! Strong bonds help to delay mental and physical degradations.
In the same study, researchers found that marital satisfaction plays a protective role in people’s mental health.
People who had happy marriages in their 80s reported good mood despite physical conditions. While those strangled in unhappy marriages suffered both emotional and physical turmoil.
Another factor that contributed to better health and happiness is habits. Those who avoided smoking and alcohol in excess reported of less mental deterioration with age!
Marital satisfaction and a better life!
Understanding the dynamics of marriage could be difficult. That’s why I thought of highlighting a few key points here.
A satisfied or happy marriage does not mean any arguments at all. Relationships never sail on smooth water; it sails on the emotions of life! Hence turbulence is inevitable. The couple can fight, bicker, and argue, but as long as they can really count on each other, they are in good space. Their relationship is adding to the physical and mental benefits.
Also Read: Higher Education is linked with happiness
Your takeaways
Social connections are very crucial. Connecting on a deeper level and forming long-lasting bonds impacts your health and happiness. So, be in touch with your family and friends and be a part of your community to enjoy the lustre of health and happiness.
The quality of your relationships is more important than quantity. So, spare time to strengthen old bonds before forging new ones. Never let go of a good relationship over some silly feud. Also, get rid of the complicated, negative and toxic relationships clinging by your neck!
Quality relationships will protect your bodies and brains. People who kept their bonds intact until their 80s maintained sharper memory and better health. Relationships do protect the brain and boost cognitive functioning.
Tips for toppings!
- Switch your screen time with face time. Meet people, talk to them and enjoy the real bonds.
- Invest your time, energy and emotions in your relationships. Be there for them and ask them to be with you!
- Reach out to family members and friends. This quarantine has gifted you with all the time. So, reconnect!
- Go for the traditional style of shopping in stores rather than the click and buy bait!
- Get involved with people. Find your tribe and never leave them!
1 comment
thank you