‘Empty Nest Syndrome‘ is a growing cause of depression in married couples.
So, what exactly is empty nest syndrome?
Well, as the name indicates, it means ’empty house’.
This happens when kids grow up and fly away to create a life of their own. Parents feel a numbing emptiness in their lives. Especially the ones whose life revolves around their kids. Housewives and retired dads are more likely to suffer from this empty nest syndrome.
After spending decades running after the kids, the sudden emptiness strikes them. Many parents suffer from sadness, angst, depression and identity crisis.
Also Read: Ayurvedic Treatment for Depression
Empty Nest Syndrome – A Real anecdote
Archana and Pravin is one such couple suffering from the whips of empty nest. This couple is in their 60s and both are retired. Recently their two beautiful and confident daughters moved out for building a career.
Their energetic adulthood swooshed by juggling between jobs, raising their daughters and making all the sacrifices that come in the package of parenthood.
In the long walk through a tough lane, their hands parted away and steps took different routes. The couple felt like strangers stranded together in old age.
Their relationship went through many difficult phases. And the only thread that kept them together wer their growing children. So, once the children took off there was nothing much left in their empty nest.
Retirement and Empty Nest
Retirement was already taking a toll on their new routines. They were both confused and overwhelmed. The couple struggled through the dark clouds of feeling unwanted, old and ready to be dead.
Pravin tried taking some tuition classes and Archana got busy in taking care of the housework. Both were unhappy, a constant hollowness pierced them and they both turned bitter to life.
Their evenings were lifeless and mundane. But they were too tired, and incurious. Pravin got glued to the T.V. and Archana dragged her conversations over the phone for hours. They tried to be busy but not with each other.
Empty Nest and Depression
They both often woke up in the middle of the night and made frequent trips to the toilet. Tossing and turning on the bed they found it hard to fall asleep. Archana was depressed and she started identifying it. Pravin too was suffering from the same agony but he was too crude to realize.
One day Archana opened up about her feelings to her close confidant and she recommended them to go for marriage counselling. Initially, Archana was sceptical after all counselling in India is yet not a normal thing.
Only after speaking to her daughters and reading a few articles on empty nest syndrome she was convinced enough and even persuaded her husband to walk along.
The counselling discussed empty nest syndrome in details and helped them reconnect on many things. They walked through the old photos and relived their old memories. The couple shared old jokes and romance rekindled in their relationship. They discovered the changing shades of their personalities.
Pravin got to know that Archana wanted to go out dining on the weekends and Archana discovered that Pravin wanted to travel across the country. They started making lists, going out, planned for date nights, movie outings and short trips across the country. They discussed their savings, used that money to live the life they always wanted!
Take Away
Empty nest syndrome is a tough phase for many parents and it needs to be addressed with the same significance as any other trouble. Ayurveda has some amazing natural relief aid for stress and depression. Couples can try to bury their fights and work on their romance; can connect to society and give a chance to their hobbies and passion. After all, life must go on, so why not live it to the fullest!
11 comments
Good info Dr
This syndrome is horrible!!! Only intelligent human being can recognise and try to solve it promptly like you, Doctor. Very well discussed and resolved it very carefully. Although retirement is painful…if lifeless days between them means…the old couple struggled a lot I think..!!!
If we go to Malnad side, the villages are empty..! No sign of human existence. In some villages, one or two old couples live in big big houses! It is the effect of Globalisation, selfishness and greediness!!!
Excellent write up. More and more people are becoming victims of this syndrome that too in much younger age as it has become a fashion now a days to send their kids abroad for studies after 10th std. Couple must learn to face this problem with experts help. Family bonding is also loosening these days. Best is to identify the problem early and correct it.
Beautiful write up Doctor, it’s a very unfortunate phase of life.. one must know to handle this syndrome with atmost care. Thanks to you and Ayurvedism
Dr.. Much needed information for all age groups.. That feeling of getting retired and the question of what next always pops up in the mind. Parents who are already living their retirement life are going through this phase now and if we turn around, there are families where most of the parents awaiting for their children’s arrival from the overseas to rejoice the happiest moment they had. The point on how to reconnect will definitely help them bring back their happiness and also let us share these information wherever we find people in our day to day life who actually needs help..
yes. please share with needy people.thank you
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Thanks again for the blog post.Really thank you! Cool.
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